He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
