How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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