Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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