just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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