Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
