"it" just moved
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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