So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
