Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
