I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
