No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Mom said you looked used
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
