Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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