I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Too much gin, very little bucket
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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