You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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