so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
