My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
