tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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