I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
