now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
