Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
