It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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