haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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