Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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