Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize