If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize