these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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