Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
