He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
