The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
