i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
