My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
