Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
