so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
