I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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