so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
