I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
