my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
