He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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