Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
