I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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