we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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