We named our party play list daddy issues
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
