Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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