what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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