well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
