If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
