I love black thongs
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
4 words: hood of his car
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
