She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
