Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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