What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
