but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
