WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
