Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I looked at my own cervix.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize