A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
