doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
