Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
