I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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