I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
