Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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