look no pants
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize