Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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