does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
