She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
