so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
