The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
...so i touched it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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