i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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