It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish I only lived at night.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize