We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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