your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
as a side note pls kill me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
