great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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