when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
FUCK WHALES
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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