I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
